Inclusion isn’t the same as Belonging.

Just because you’re included doesn’t mean you feel like you belong so inclusion isn’t the same as belonging.

I’ll explain further. Take this example a group of classmates decide to go bowling in and out for a meal in the evening they invite you along including you in the event you’re not left out.


However when you get to the bowling alley you find there are steps down to where the actual bowling is. Now being in a wheelchair you can’t get down those steps. So while everyone else is bowling, you are left at the top having a drink, while you watch anyone else having fun. You don’t feel like you belong.

After this you all go to the pub for a meal together. The pub is it totally accessible, your friends checked it out in advance, and booked a table you could easily get to.

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They made sure the pub catered for everybody’s food requirements, and you all have a brilliant time, that’s when you feel like belonging!

As I’ve shown you are included on both things, but only one of them make you feel like you truly belong there. That’s the difference between the two.

Everybody should always feel like they belong, it’s lonely otherwise!


Death, changes perspective.

How does death change your perspective?

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I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t aware of death, even if I was too young to fully understand the concept at the time.

Sadly I have been all too aware of deaths ugly head rearing itself and taking friends, and relatives throughout my life.

The majority of my classmates for my final two years at college have since died, either due to their disabilities or due to other illnesses since college.

Each time, it reminds me of how many times I’ve cheated death and fought back, but equally, I know it’ll be my turn one day.

No-one really knows how long they have. So just enjoy life while you can.


Animal lover

What are your favorite animals?

I really am a huge animal lover, but dogs have to be my all time favourite animal.

They are so loyal, understanding, patient and caring. Given the time and care they truly deserve, they’ll pay that back 1000’s of times more over their lifetime.

I don’t believe there is such a thing as a bad dog. A traumatised one, a scared dog, an under exercised and under stimulated dog, and definitely confused ones. But not a dog that’s bad from birth.

It is our responsibility and commitment to care for and look after them, and we need to do the best we can by them. Ensuring they feel safe, loved, secure, comfortable, and healthy.

They really are the perfect companion/friend.

Go the Way Your Blood Beats

What books do you want to read?

I am going to have to be patient as the book I want to read won’t be released until July this year.

This book is written by someone I knew, but haven’t seen for years. It will I think be very interesting.

Go the Way Your Blood Beats by Emmett de Monterey (Author) 

A BEAUTIFUL AND POWERFUL MEMOIR OF GROWING UP GAY AND DISABLED IN 1980S LONDON – AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER NOW (Amazon Affiliate link, I may earn a little if you make a purchase)


What Makes True friendships?

Making friends can be challenging for people with disabilities because of the physical, mental and social barriers. Yet when true friendships develop the bond remains forever. What makes true friendships?: When no judgements are made by friends about your bad mistakes or your troubled past. Your friends respect you for who you are, your choices […]

What Makes True friendships?

Important Day for inclusion.

Yesterday I went to Portcullis House in London to take part in the official launch of the Disabled Citizens’ Inquiry. This aims to make walking & wheeling more inclusive for us all, and to give disabled people a voice in the process.

Live, for how long?!?

Do you want to live forever?


Would I want to live forever? Forever is a very long time, longer than I could even imagine.

I think my answer would have to be, no, not unless my body stayed the same physical health and condition it is now (or better) and all those that I love, lived forever too.

It would be a long sad and lonely eternity if I was off bad health and had no friends and family in an ever moving and evolving world.

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Just think how much has changed in yours, and your parents or even your grandparents lifetimes. All that new technology they’ve needed to learn and keep up with.

Forever is a lot longer than the number of years you and they’ve lived – gosh how many incredible yet confusing changes would you have to learn, understand and master.

Before you get a dog….

Dogs are amazing, ‘Man’s Best Friend’ so they say, and yes this can be very true. Before you embark on the journey of dog ownership, there are many things you need to consider, I’ll write a little about the ones that come to mind.

  1. Have you got the time required to give them the attention and exercise/training they need? Some dogs need more than others, but they all need and deserve time with you that’s just for them, not shared with anyone else, nor rushed because you’re busy. We all get extra busy sometimes, and if this happens occasionally, that’s fine and only natural. If you are working away from home during the day/night, who’s going to let the dog out, or give it a run somewhere?
  2. How much space do you have, do you have space for it to have a bed or two around the house, do you have a garden? My dog loves spending time outside, and luckily there is a garden, but I wouldn’t have the breed of dog that I do if there wasn’t a garden, as I feel they need that extra escape if they find things boring indoors, the weather is nice, things indoors are hectic or noisy, or they (like we do) just need a change of scene.
  3. Money is another thing that you need to consider. Can you afford regular vet visits for vaccines and other boosters. Insurance is another thing that you need to think about. As well as their food. Also, if you are going to any training classes, or plan to take up agility, you will need to pay for them too. Could you afford to have it groomed regularly? Can you budget for unexpected vet bills?
  4. Do you have enough patience? Are you a calm person.? What training method are you going to use? Which areas of the house you going to allow it? Would you mind all the mud in the winter? Are you in all-weather person? The dog may well want to go out in most weathers.
A brown and white puppy lying in the grass, looking up with head tilted to the side. Very cute!!
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